Loving a Broken Person Part 1

[00:17.49]Hello, hello.
[00:20.29]This is Lynda with Rooted&Real.
[00:24.21]We’re going to start a brand new series.
[00:29.21]This one is to the person
loving someone who is broken (Loving a Broken Person).
[00:35.01]Everyone knows someone who is struggling,
[00:40.21]and everyone who loves a struggling person
[00:45.41]feels alone. Isn’t that true?
[00:49.97]So my first episode will be,
[00:54.37]‘Loving Them Is Not Enough to Fix Them’.
[01:00.37]Okay?
[01:01.41]So to the person loving
someone who is broken.
[01:06.25]I need you to hear this.
[01:09.89]Loving them is not enough to fix them.
[01:15.13]And it’s not your fault that you can’t.
[01:18.89]You love him or her so much that it hurts.
[01:25.21]You see the good in them
that they can’t see in themselves.
[01:29.21]You see who they could be
if they just stopped drinking,
[01:35.53]if they just stopped pushing you away,
if they just stopped
[01:40.25]giving up on themselves.
[01:42.77]So you stay.
[01:44.69]You pray, you beg, you cry,
[01:51.65]you research therapists,
[01:54.93]you send motivational videos even at 2 AM.
[01:59.81]You shrink yourself
to make them comfortable.
[02:06.33]You walk on eggshells around them.
[02:09.97]You think, If I love them enough,
they will change.
[02:17.49]I know you think your love can save them
because your heart is that big.
[02:22.65]But love doesn’t heal someone
who doesn’t want to heal.
[02:27.73]‘Umesikia’ (Did you hear)? You can support someone’s healing,
[02:31.97]but you cannot do their healing for them.
[02:37.17]You can carry them for a while,
but you cannot walk
[02:42.89]their journey for them.
[02:44.81]Believe you me, I have tried.
[02:47.97]It’s like trying to save someone
from drowning,
[02:51.45]and then they won’t grab the rope.
[02:53.61]See, you’ll both drown.
[02:56.85]Loving them is beautiful,
but loving them cannot be
[03:02.21]the reason you lose yourself.
[03:05.41]You are their partner,
their sister, their brother, their parent,
[03:11.01]their friend, but not their saviour,
not their therapist.
[03:17.49]So… today, breathe.
[03:25.57]You’re allowed to love them deeply
and admit that you cannot fix them.
[03:32.49]Your job is just to love them.
[03:34.49]Their job is to decide to heal.
[03:39.05]And both jobs are very hard.
[03:43.17]But listen here, you’re not
failing them by not fixing them.
[03:49.61]You are human.