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Hello, hello.

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This is Lynda with Rooted&Real.

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We're going to start a brand new series.

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This one is to the person
loving someone who is broken (Loving a Broken Person).

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Everyone knows someone who is struggling,

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and everyone who loves a struggling person

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feels alone. Isn't that true?

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So my first episode will be,

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'Loving Them Is Not Enough to Fix Them'.

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Okay?

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So to the person loving
someone who is broken.

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I need you to hear this.

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Loving them is not enough to fix them.

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And it's not your fault that you can't.

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You love him or her so much that it hurts.

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You see the good in them
that they can't see in themselves.

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You see who they could be
if they just stopped drinking,

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if they just stopped pushing you away,
if they just stopped

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giving up on themselves.

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So you stay.

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You pray, you beg, you cry,

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you research therapists,

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you send motivational videos even at 2 AM.

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You shrink yourself
to make them comfortable.

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You walk on eggshells around them.

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You think, If I love them enough,
they will change.

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I know you think your love can save them
because your heart is that big.

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But love doesn't heal someone
who doesn't want to heal.

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'Umesikia' (Did you hear)? You can support someone's healing,

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but you cannot do their healing for them.

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You can carry them for a while,
but you cannot walk

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their journey for them.

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Believe you me, I have tried.

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It's like trying to save someone
from drowning,

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and then they won't grab the rope.

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See, you'll both drown.

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Loving them is beautiful,
but loving them cannot be

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the reason you lose yourself.

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You are their partner,
their sister, their brother, their parent,

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their friend, but not their saviour,
not their therapist.

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So... today, breathe.

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You're allowed to love them deeply
and admit that you cannot fix them.

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Your job is just to love them.

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Their job is to decide to heal.

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And both jobs are very hard.

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But listen here, you're not
failing them by not fixing them.

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You are human.