Love Is Not Enough

[00:18.57]Hey, hey, hey.
[00:20.29]This is Lynda again from Rooted&Real.
[00:25.65]We’re going to start a new episode (miniseries),
and there’ll be five of them.
[00:31.21]It’s some truths about marriage.
[00:34.85]Feel free to correct me,
but these are my opinions.
[00:39.89]So, the first one that we’re going to do is:
[00:44.81]Love is not enough.
[00:48.65]So let’s tell some
truths about marriage.
[00:52.93]The truth that nobody told us
at the wedding or thereafter.
[01:00.37]Everyone told us, “As long as you
love each other, you’d be fine.”
[01:06.37]It is a lie.
[01:09.05]Love is important, and love is beautiful.
[01:15.89]But love is not enough.
[01:20.21]I know couples who love each other
so deeply, but they still broke up.
[01:24.81]Why?
[01:26.13]Because love doesn’t teach you how
to communicate when you’re angry.
[01:31.49]Love doesn’t pay rent.
[01:33.73]Love doesn’t know how
to apologise properly.
[01:37.65]Love doesn’t know how to handle your
mother-in-law, your in-laws,
[01:42.13]the rest, your trauma, your bad days.
[01:46.41]Love is It’s truly the spark.
[01:50.21]But marriage needs skills.
[01:53.81]Okay, think about it like a house.
[01:57.01]Love is a beautiful plot of land.
[01:59.37]Everyone is excited about the land.
[02:01.09]“Wow! What a view.”
[02:04.21]But you can’t live on land.
[02:06.05]You need bricks, you need
plumbing, you need a roof.
[02:10.05]Some
values, like respect is a brick,
[02:17.41]patience is a brick, tolerance is
a brick, self-control is a brick.
[02:23.45]Patience is a break.
Tolerance is a break.
[02:24.39]Self control is a break.
“I’m sorry I was wrong.”
[02:26.17]That’s a whole wall.
[02:28.89]“How can I help you today?”
[02:30.33]That’s the roof.
[02:32.29]Without those,
your love land will just be an empty
[02:36.45]beautiful place where two
people are cold and arguing.
[02:41.61]The truth is, in marriage,
you will have days you don’t feel love.
[02:47.49]You will look at them and think,
“I don’t even like you right now.”
[02:52.69]You know what?
That’s normal.
[02:55.17]What keeps you in those
moments is not butterflies.
[03:00.41]It is commitment.
[03:04.13]It is friendship.
[03:07.01]It is, “I choose this person, and I
will choose them even when it’s hard.”
[03:13.89]If you’re dating,
stop asking only, “Do I love them?”
[03:17.89]Start asking,
“Can I solve problems with them?”
[03:22.25]“Can I be bored with them?”
[03:24.53]“Can we fight and still respect each other?”
[03:27.45]“Do they keep their promises
when no one is watching?”
[03:31.89]And if you’re already married
and you’re thinking, “But I love them,
[03:37.97]why is this still so hard?”
[03:41.97]It’s hard because love
was only chapter one.
[03:46.37]Now you’re in chapter two
where you build the skills.
[03:50.93]Love got you to the altar.
[03:53.41]Skills will keep you in the house.
[03:57.29]So tomorrow, we talk about the second
[04:00.89]truth, why you will marry a stranger
[04:04.69]again and again in the same marriage.
[04:09.53]So please keep reaching out
on YouTube or on Instagram,
[04:17.77]TikTok, on Lynda: Rooted&Real (@LyndaRootedNReal).
[04:22.29]See you then.