WEBVTT

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Back to Rooted&Real.

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Again, this is Lynda.

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We've been handling issues on 'Parenting',
and this is my take on,

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'Their Behaviour Is Not About You'.

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Okay?
Their behaviour is not about you.

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They're screaming, maybe, in the
supermarket, and you're thinking,

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"Everyone is judging me."
They slam the door and you think,

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"I'm a bad parent."
They withdraw and you think, "They

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don't love me." So what are we doing?

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We take it so personal.

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But those tantrums aren't defiance.

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An attitude is not disrespect.

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Shutting down is not rejection.

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You know what it is?

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Communication.

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And most of the time,
they don't even have the words for it yet.

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So your kid isn't giving you a very good
time, but your kid is having a hard time.

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They are tired, probably over
stimulated, hungry, anxious.

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They can't regulate yet.

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That's literally, sorry for the 'shrub'
(mispronunciation),

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that's literally our job.

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When you don't take it personal,
you get curious instead, isn't it?

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"What do you need right now?"
It different then, "Why are you acting

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like this?" You're not
raising kids to be easy.

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You're raising humans to be whole.

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And whole humans have big feelings.

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So, breathe first.

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Regulate yourself.

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Then, and only then,
you can help them regulate.

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Get low, get calm.

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Something like, "You're safe.
I'm here.

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We'll figure this out together."
Their behavior isn't a report

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card on your parenting.

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Okay, so here it is.

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To every parent in the thick of it,
don't take it personal.

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Get curious.

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Why?

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Because you've got this.