Back to Rooted&Real.
Again, this is Lynda.
We've been handling issues on 'Parenting', and this is my take on,
'Their Behaviour Is Not About You'.
Okay? Their behaviour is not about you.
They're screaming, maybe, in the supermarket, and you're thinking,
"Everyone is judging me." They slam the door and you think,
"I'm a bad parent." They withdraw and you think, "They
don't love me." So what are we doing?
We take it so personal.
But those tantrums aren't defiance.
An attitude is not disrespect.
Shutting down is not rejection.
You know what it is?
Communication.
And most of the time, they don't even have the words for it yet.
So your kid isn't giving you a very good time, but your kid is having a hard time.
They are tired, probably over stimulated, hungry, anxious.
They can't regulate yet.
That's literally, sorry for the 'shrub' (mispronunciation),
that's literally our job.
When you don't take it personal, you get curious instead, isn't it?
"What do you need right now?" It different then, "Why are you acting
like this?" You're not raising kids to be easy.
You're raising humans to be whole.
And whole humans have big feelings.
So, breathe first.
Regulate yourself.
Then, and only then, you can help them regulate.
Get low, get calm.
Something like, "You're safe. I'm here.
We'll figure this out together." Their behavior isn't a report
card on your parenting.
Okay, so here it is.
To every parent in the thick of it, don't take it personal.
Get curious.
Why?
Because you've got this.