WEBVTT

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Hey!
'Ni mimi tu Lynda.

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Niko nanyi tu bado' (It's me Lynda and I'm
still with you) on 'Loving a

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Broken Person',
'niko nanyi' (I'm still with you) because

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this is a journey that I'm also walking.

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This one, we're going to do an
episode on, 'You Didn't Cause It'.

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You're not the one who caused it.

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So, to the person loving someone who is
broken, that guilt you carry,

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You know, like maybe if I was
better, they would be better.

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Let it go.

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You didn't cause this.

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You keep replaying everything.

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If I didn't nag so much,
maybe if I was prettier,

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more patient, maybe if I made more money,
maybe if I was there that night when they

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called, you think you broke them
because they told you that, probably.

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Or because when they hurt,
you are the closest person to blame.

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So you apologise for things
that are not your fault.

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You try to be perfect
so they won't spiral.

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You become responsible for their moods.
Come on.

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If they are happy, you can breathe.

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If they're angry,
your whole day is ruined.

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Listen to me.

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You didn't cause their brokenness.

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Their trauma started before you.

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Their wounds, their addiction,
their anger, their depression.

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It has roots deeper
than your relationship.

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You're not that powerful
to break someone so deeply.

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And you're not that powerful also
to fix them by being perfect.

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Their healing is not
dependent on your perfection.

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You can be perfect
and still be a good partner,

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still be a good sister,
still be a good parent, still be a

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good friend, still be a good brother.

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So stop taking responsibility
for wounds you didn't create.

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You are allowed to stop
carrying what is not yours.

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Say this with me.

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I didn't cause it.

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I can't cure it.

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But I can care for myself
while I care for them.

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So let that guilt go.

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It was never yours to hold.