WEBVTT

1
00:00:18.728 --> 00:00:26.008
To the dad who's trying,
but secretly has no idea what he's doing.

2
00:00:27.488 --> 00:00:30.328
It's actually 'Okay Not to
Know What You’re Doing'.

3
00:00:31.208 --> 00:00:39.663
Welcome back, and this is
Lynda with Rooted&Real.

4
00:00:39.688 --> 00:00:46.168
All the dads are trying to figure,
to figure it out, to figure

5
00:00:47.488 --> 00:00:52.288
what is it exactly they're doing or what
is it exactly they're supposed to do?

6
00:00:53.448 --> 00:00:55.168
No one gave you a manual, did they?

7
00:00:56.808 --> 00:00:59.608
Your father probably didn't
teach you how to be soft.

8
00:01:00.208 --> 00:01:01.728
He taught you how to be strong.

9
00:01:02.048 --> 00:01:04.568
How to not cry, how to provide.

10
00:01:05.528 --> 00:01:10.328
Okay, so now you're a father yourself,
and you're googling.

11
00:01:10.888 --> 00:01:13.608
I'm 'shrabbing' (mispronouncing).
You're googling in your head.

12
00:01:15.008 --> 00:01:16.848
How do I comfort a crying daughter?

13
00:01:17.648 --> 00:01:20.528
How do I talk to my teenage son?

14
00:01:21.488 --> 00:01:24.728
You feel like you're supposed to have all
the answers because you see,

15
00:01:24.768 --> 00:01:26.168
you're the man of the house.

16
00:01:27.048 --> 00:01:33.248
So when you don't know, you go quiet,
you get angry, you walk away.

17
00:01:33.888 --> 00:01:38.928
Not because you don't care,
but because you don't know what to say.

18
00:01:40.688 --> 00:01:44.648
So you know what?
It's okay to not know what you're doing.

19
00:01:45.648 --> 00:01:49.863
It's okay to say, "Son, I've never done
this before either, so let's

20
00:01:49.888 --> 00:01:51.268
figure it out together."

21
00:01:52.528 --> 00:01:57.848
It's even okay to say,
"I'm sorry, I handled that badly.

22
00:01:57.968 --> 00:02:01.488
Can I try again?"
You see, that doesn't make you weak.

23
00:02:01.848 --> 00:02:03.008
It makes you real.

24
00:02:03.648 --> 00:02:04.768
And you know what?

25
00:02:05.408 --> 00:02:07.968
It makes you safe.

26
00:02:09.368 --> 00:02:12.103
Your kids don't need a perfect
dad who never makes mistakes.

27
00:02:12.128 --> 00:02:17.168
They need an honest dad
who keeps trying after he makes them.

28
00:02:18.968 --> 00:02:19.888
What am I saying?

29
00:02:20.488 --> 00:02:22.088
You're allowed to learn as you go.

30
00:02:22.728 --> 00:02:27.543
You're allowed to ask for help,
to watch a video, to ask your wife, "How

31
00:02:27.568 --> 00:02:33.503
do I do this better?" So the best dads
are not the ones who know everything.

32
00:02:33.528 --> 00:02:38.888
They're the ones who never stop
learning how to love their kids better.

33
00:02:39.888 --> 00:02:41.208
And you know who that is?

34
00:02:42.288 --> 00:02:44.168
That is you.